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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?